PRINCIPLES FOR LIVING

Friendships are not held together by sincerity and love alone, but by covenantal agreements. When we agree to walk together according to godly standards and ethics, we find God’s favour and truly prove that friends love at all times.

FIRST WORD PRINCIPLE

YOU WILL BE THE FIRST PERSON TO HEAR ABOUT ANY PROBLEM I HAVE WITH YOU.

Jesus instructed us to go to an offending brother privately. When we obey Jesus, we are able to reconcile with our brother much more easily than if we have revealed the problem to others before speaking to him. Matt.18:15 & Matt. 5:23-24

QUESTION. Have you spoken to anyone else about this offence?

THE FINAL WORD PRINCIPLE

I WILL BELIEVE AND ACT UPON THE LAST WORDS WE SPOKE CONCERNING OUR RELATIONSHIP AND LIVE AS IF YOU WILL DO THE SAME. IF ANYTHING CHANGES ON MY PART, I WILL INFORM YOU.

We believe God’s Word. We should also believe the word of our friends. If we respect the words we hear from each other, we do not need constant assurances of the well being of our relationship. We can be confident that all is well because we have not been told otherwise. Prov. 14:5,25,35, Eph. 4:15

QUESTION. Did you forget or disregard what we last spoke to one another concerning our relationship?

THE FOUR DAY PRINCIPLE

I WILL NOT ALLOW ANY PROBLEM I HAVE WITH YOU TO GO UNRESOLVED FOR MORE THAN FOUR DAYS. IF WITHIN THAT TIME, I HAVE NOT COME TO PEACE ABOUT THE ISSUE, I WILL COMMUNICATE WITH YOU.

Resolving conflicts preserves friendships. Offences between friends are spiritually, emotionally and physically harmful. Bringing issues to a closure within a reasonable amount of time maintains the health of a relationship. (The Lazarus Principle) Prov. 28: 13, James 3:17-18

QUESTION. How long have you been troubled about this problem?

THE FRIENDSHIP PRINCIPLE

I WILL BEFRIEND YOU BY BEING HONEST. I WILL NOT EXPECT YOU TO INTERPRET MY ACTIONS OR RECOGNISE MY HEART’S CONDITION. IT IS MY RESPONSIBILITY TO APPROACH YOU IF I NEED HELP.

God is the only one who knows what is in man’s heart. One should not expect that a friend discern what is happening inside him. Therefore, the need to be understood is met in friends communicating with one another. Prov 14:5, 17:17, 18:24 & 27:6

QUESTION. Are you offended that I did not recognise you were in trouble?

THE FAITHFULNESS PRINCIPLE

FAITHFULNESS TO OUR RELATIONSHIPS OUTWEIGHS THE IMPORTANCE OF ANY OFFENCE BETWEEN US. IWILL NOT ALLOW ANY PROBLEM TO OVERRRIDE THE PRINCIPLES BY WHICH WE LIVE.

Faithfulness to a relationship means loyalty to a person Psalm 133:1

QUESTION. Is this problem a threat to our relationship?